Sepherd’s Bush Market Fabrics Shops

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The proud owners of the fabrics shops in Sepherd’s Bush market are another classic of London. Whether you want to sew a new sari or you are looking to improve your house decoration, you can find the most colourful fabrics in their shops in West London. When you walk in these shops you will feel like you are in a different place, and you better be alert of any suspicious magic carpet or accidentally rub a lamp that might bring the genie out!

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The London Bus Driver

The bus driver

The last of London TFL’s species is here! The London Bus Driver is a very chilled species that only gets angry when its nemesis appears: The London Taxi Driver… or the London Cyclist (coming soon)… or a normal car driver… or any species that drives any sort of wheeled vehicle on the road for that matter. Commuting by bus in London is normally a very pleasant experience thanks to the London Bus Driver’s chilled attitude, unless the Driver is doing his last ride of the day, then you better get ready for a F1 experience around London and enjoy the road bumps as if you were on a high donkey!

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The Angry Cabbie

the-cab-driver

Let me start by saying that black cabs are the coolest and more expensive way to move around London… unless you have an Angry Cabbie. The level of angriness since the arrival of UBER has reached peak points and the rows that some drivers can get into are magnificent! There is no company, public person, institution or public service that can escape the unstoppable mouth of an Angry Cabbie. But hey! you will arrive on time to your date with a great knowledge of current affairs… and £50 less.

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@sisterwivescollective

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American women are desperate and gossip about their neighbours, London ones go on holidays and sip cocktails in the park… or at least these ones do. @sisterwivescollective really know how to enjoy life. Welcome to the London Zoo. ❤

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Amy Schumer

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Let’s welcome to the London Zoo a species from a different continent, Amy Schumer. Amy belongs to the family of the Stand Up comedians which basically make us laugh saying things like “All my friends are getting married. I guess I’m just at that age where people give up” or “Don’t feel bad for me. I think I’m, like, so pretty” that might sound like just normal stuff that we all say everyday but when they say it sounds very funny. And she must be doing it well because she is performing in the O2 which is quite awesome. Can’t wait to see you live tomorrow Amy! Welcome to London!

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The Crackman

As Londoners we all know how important the Crackmen are… they basically keep these old Victorian and council houses running with a little patch here and a new pipe segment there. They are a hardworking species, and even if this particular one is fixing an old toilet, they can do nearly everything: kitchen jobs, TV jobs, door jobs, wall jobs… but don’t be mistaken, they have been wrongly portrayed on a certain movie genre and even if they often show a bit too much skin, they DO NOT do those kind of jobs too. Not that you want to anyway.

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Miss Muscles

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Miss Muscles is a very common species in the south of London, especially in the Vauxhall area although they can also be spotted around Soho from Thursday to Sunday nights. This species of the London Zoo has developed muscles that didn’t exist before through dubious methods. Technogym is their god, and they worship in different temples around London, being Soho Gyms and Pure Gyms their favourite. Don’t be fooled by all the hair and the macho look, everything is planned so there is enough hair to attract followers but not so much that a colony of lice could establish on their underpits. Their social life is as active offline as is online, and is it a characteristic of this species to post at least twice per day in at least two different social network, one of them always Instagram. But not all is vanity in his life, it is their characteristic trying to help people out to achieve their goals, to eat healthier, to strive, to work hard. To push, PUSH, PUSH!.

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The Little Pony Monster

Little Pony Monster

Now, I actually saw this person. And she had a Little Pony on her head. I was travelling to Edinburgh and there she was, getting in the plane as if carrying a Little Pony on the head is the most common thing to do. And I wondered what takes people to this stage in their lives. Is it some trauma? Maybe some drug? Is this what happens to Lady Gaga’s little monsters when they grow up? And HOW the HELL did she go through airport security? I am really curious so if you guys know her PLEASE, ask her to contact me.

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The Frugal Man

The frugal man-01

I am not quite sure if frugal should be the word to describe this species of the London Zoo, but pig is already taken so I will stick to frugal. He has grown inside his clothes and will not change despite the ripped parts or grease spots, although may alternate with a long version of his trousers in winter. His belly will carry on growing until it hangs like a curtain covering his unused male parts. And pray for him not to sit next to you on the underground, his intense breathing may blow you away and his smell may just kill you… But hey! You know the risk when you travel on the underground!

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The Posh Notting Hill Couple

Notting Hill Posh Couple

London is tough for almost all the species of the Zoo… but a bit less for the Posh Notting Hill Couple, I mean, they have each other!! They are so fresh and cool and trendy, so relaxed in their attitude and look, they trust each other so much and they have this hyper super dreamy 1sq meter house where they can share their first year of marriage together until the kids come. “We are so fortunate we found each other”, you will hear them say… But believe me, not everything that glitters is gold, in the next episode she finds out he is gay.

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